The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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