Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize