I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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