Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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