if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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