I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
