my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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