After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
