i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
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Can you bring me the toilet please
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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