People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
