I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
