can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
