i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
