Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm too high and old for this...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
