Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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