Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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