Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
