i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
