So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there's paper in my vomit.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
