dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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