mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
