Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
