I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We are two peas in an std pod
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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