so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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