just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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