Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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