I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
