i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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