Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
