super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
