Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
