your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
