): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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