I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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