When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
