giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
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You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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