I feel like I'm in dance class right now
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
organizing the empties. That sober.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
