you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
