You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
