I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
