His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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