im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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