i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
