Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
