Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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