My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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