The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
