Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
