He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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