I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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