im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
