She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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