ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
