85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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