i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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