I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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