he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
