Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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