i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
