ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
