After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize