I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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