You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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